


Just to let you know

by Sebbypop



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: A hint of supernatural, Best friends Yeosang and Wooyoung, Hopefully a bit of comfort somewhere, Im not really sure why i wrote this sorry, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Other, Past WooSan - Freeform, Regrets, Sadness, angsty, ghosty things, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:47:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26193634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sebbypop/pseuds/Sebbypop
Summary: Yeosang struggles to deal with the loss of his best friend and finds himself visiting the rooftop where his world fell apart. Grief and regrets threaten to pull Yeosang down the same toxic path Wooyoung was on.An unexpected message and the memory of a squeaky laugh remind him that he still has something to live for.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Jung Wooyoung & Kang Yeosang
Kudos: 20





	Just to let you know

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys:) So here's a story inspired mainly by late night thoughts and sad music. I'm still finding my feet as a writer so sorry if this isn't all that good. I do hope you enjoy this and any constructive critism is welcome<3 there are themes revolving around suicide, depression and death(but it's not really graphic) still, read safely guys.

_Was he afraid?_

Yeosang stared down at the deserted street far below. The KQ building had banned anyone from using the roof but...he had to come here. He had to know.

_Did he have any regrets?_

The city was alive even though it was past midnight. It seemed as if no one ever slept. Yeosang could understand. He never slept either.

_Did he think about me?_

It had been 4 months. 4 long months since Yeosang had smiled. 4 months since he had felt anything besides sadness and anger. 4 months since he had been whole. Now...now Wooyoung was gone and there was nothing left for him anymore.

_Did he hate me?_

Wooyoung was- would always be his best friend. Wooyoung loved him so much...and he loved Wooyoung. But these past months, before....before everything ended - there had been a rift. A rift between Wooyoung and the rest of the world. Wooyoung was quiet. He stopped speaking to anyone. He stopped smiling. He barely ate. He never slept. He became a walking corpse. And Yeosang, fool that he is, argued with him about it instead of trying to understand.

_What could I have done differently?_

No one could get through to Wooyoung. Not even San. And San loved Wooyoung the most. Yeosang couldn't even try to compete. But still, Yeosang knew him longer. Yeosang knew him the best.

_Why hadn't he seen it sooner?_

_Why hadn't he tried harder?_

"Dammit Wooyoungie...I miss you, you jerk." He sat down on the edge of the roof, right next to the giant bouquet of flowers left in memory of Wooyoung. He almost imagined he heard Wooyoung's squeaky laugh. "I want to say thank you, Wooyoung. Thank you for staying as long as you did. For staying with us. Thank you for believing in me when no one did. Thank you for sharing your light even when all we did was try to dim it. Thank you for loving us so much, your heart broke with how full it was. Thank you for being there for us. Thank you for caring about us even when we didn't deserve it. Thank you for the laughs and the tears. Thank you, Wooyoungie."

He let his legs dangle freely over the edge of the building. He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. He wanted so many things.

But maybe all he really wanted was a hug from his best friend. 

Maybe everything else didn't matter because Wooyoung wasn't there. Maybe he wanted to jump off the building too. Maybe he wanted to know what it was like to kill himself. Maybe he deserved to die. Maybe-

He startled as his phone began ringing, the shrill noise loud in the quiet of the night. He sighed softly and stared at his phone screen. His eyebrows furrowed together briefly. It was an unknown number. He rejected the call and nearly threw his phone away. He didn't see the point anymore. He didn't feel anything anymore. He just wanted one more hug. He just wanted to cuddle with Wooyoung one last time. He just needed to feel. He needed Wooyoung.

His phone buzzed quietly and he glared at it. The unknown number had left him a message. What the hell, nothing like hearing a telemarketers voice just before you kill yourself. Atleast it would be better than silence.

He clicked play on the message. 

_"Hey Sangie, it's me Wooyoung."_ He nearly dropped the phone. His heart skipped a beat and then proceeded to crack and break, straining painfully against his chest.

 _"I don't know when you'll get this. Maybe you never will, but if you do I just wanted to leave you this message. It's kinda stupid considering you're in the same dorm and I could literally go over to your room but uhm....hahaha....I'll just...ignore that."_ Yeosang chocked back a sob at Wooyoung's soft voice awkwardly trailing off. God, he missed him so much.

_"Uhm anyway so I just wanted to say that I love you Sangie. I love you more than you'll ever know and I want you to be happy. I'm not doing so good. I've been very sad lately. Feeling kinda sick too. But I'm sure it'll pass. I want to be happier than I am. But I don't really know how. It's funny if you think about it. I'm branded as the **Loud and** **happy one**. I was once. I...I don't really know when things changed but..uhm...he he...I dunno. Maybe it's just teen angst. Maybe I'm being a bit over dramatic. Anyway...if I never say this to you in person... Yeosang, San may be the beat in my heart...but you're the ground beneath my feet. You keep me safe and sane. You make me smile Sangie. Thank you for that. I've never really met anyone like you before. I'm glad I did. I'm glad you're my best friend. I know I suck sometimes. Thank you for putting up with me. I'll be back to my old self soon then I'll be back to bothering you. Sorry if I've been seeming distant. But remember that I'll never be far away...I'll always be right beside you. Even if I'm sad - I'll always try to smile for you. Uhhhhhhh....yeah....Love you. Bye bye." _

Yeosang sat staring at his phone for a solid ten minutes after the message ended. His mind raced, heart hammering as Wooyoung's words whirled around in his head. How was it possible? Was it a problem with the network that caused him to only get the message now? But then what about the phone call?

Wooyoung had called him. And left a message.

He pressed the phone to his chest and began sobbing. Tears streamed down his cheeks and onto his hoodie. He didn't care. All he could think about was _Wooyoung, Wooyoung, Wooyoung._ Somehow, even in death, Wooyoung had been there for him when he needed him most. He had found a way to save Yeosang from himself.

So why the hell couldn't Yeosang have done the same for Wooyoung? Why hadn't he saved Wooyoung from the dark thoughts slowly devouring his happiness bit by bit? Why hadn't he tried harder to be a good friend? He was such a failure. He failed Wooyoung time and time again and Wooyoung loved him still.

"Wooyoungie", he whispered softly, " I'm sorry."

Silence.

There was no Wooyoung to tell him it was okay anymore. No Wooyoung to laugh sweetly and hug him when he felt sad. No Wooyoung to just..be there. All he had was the message on his phone. The last time Wooyoung had told him _"I love you"_. 

So he replayed the message over a over again, pushing all thoughts about the strange manner in which he had received it out of his mind. The point was that he had this last gift from Wooyoung and he would treasure it. Even if it was a little strange.

Long after Yeosang's phone had died, long after the Sun began to rise, Yeosang finally understood. Wooyoung's words already memorised and imprinted forever in his mind, he finally understood what it meant.

Wooyoung was telling him it's okay to be sad. Wooyoung was giving him permission to be a little lost and a little broken, because Wooyoung knew what it was like. But Wooyoung was also telling him to stay strong. To fight the sadness crushing his spirit and drowning him in grief. Even though his best friend wasn't there anymore, his memory would live on. As long as Yeosang lived on too. As long as they all lived on, Wooyoung would never- could never be gone. 

_"Learn from my mistakes, Sangie. Be strong for me."_

Yeosang smiled softly at the gentle whisper in his mind. His first smile in God knows how long. Oh yes, Wooyoung would always be there. He had never really left. Yeosang steeled himself and put his phone in his pocket, standing up with a certain determination he hadn't felt in a long time.

"I'll find a way to smile again. To be happy again. Just for you, Woo", he declared, staring up at the sky. He knew Wooyoung was watching him. He was probably smiling, all the stars in the galaxy in his doe eyes. Yeosang would miss those smiles forever. He'll miss Wooyoung forever. But today was a new day, he thought, casting one last look down at the ground far below before walking away from the edge.

His feet felt a bit lighter, his heart a bit warmer. He felt a bit more like himself again. And someday, the others would find their old selves again too. It wouldn't be the same, it couldn't be the same without Wooyoung there, but they would be okay.

"We'll be okay." He felt a fragile smile crawl into his face once more. "And one day we'll see you again. And then I'll hug you and never let you go, Wooyoung."

There was a gentle breeze, like the touch of fingers on his face. He heard that squeaky laugh again.

_"I'll be waiting."_


End file.
